Street Talk

One of my favorite things about living in Cairo is that I can walk just about anywhere I need to go. The more I walk around Cairo, the better I have an understanding of what the city is really like, and what the people are about. That being said, walking in Cairo is not for the faint of heart or weak kneed. For one thing, the sidewalks are not the clean & lovely pedestrian friendly kind that America is used to. The difference between the sidewalk and the street often makes you feel like you are on a stairmaster rather then a sidewalk. In addition to double and triple parking on the street, people park on the sidewalk which renders walking in a straight line impossible. Then there is what I refer to as the Cairo Shower. Everywhere you go, the air conditioners from above drip a constant flow onto the street, and you've got to be on the lookout or you'll get wet.

Walking in Cairo also requires a strong disregard for safety, personal or otherwise. It also helps to understand the pattern and cadence of horn blowing, to have your ear tuned to the difference between the "I'm passing you" honk and the "get the hell out of my way or I'll hit you!" honk. You must disregard any and all traffic laws, and most importantly, you must NEVER hesitate. To hesitate is to ask to get hit. One may stop in the middle of traffic, or run hell bent through it, but once the decision is made, you stick to it.

This may all sound like complaint, but the truth is I enjoy it. My walk to each morning wakes me up better then any cup of coffee. I get to meet all sorts of people, and get a good laugh most of the time. For example, I was walking home yesterday just as the primary schools were getting out and ran into a group of boys. They looked about eight or nine, and had on uniforms on that made them look positively angelic. But being little boys, they were up to no good and happened to be setting off small firecrackers in the street. They set one off right behind me, and rather then jumping and freaking out, I grinned and said "mumtaz!" (no shock if you know how much I like to blow things up). I asked if I could light one and got huge smiles all around. They proceeded to let me light off several, and showed off their rather impressive collection of small explosives. It was the highlight of my day, and one I would have missed it if I had taken a taxi.

I also get to hear some of the cheesiest lines know to womankind. I have been told that I am in the dreams and hearts of many men here; I get to hear things like this- "Hey pretty lady, you walk like an Egyptian!" Yeah, whatever... when I heard that, I thought of the picture above. That of course, made me laugh, and I almost got hit by a car as I crossed the street. I did however, keep walking like an Egyptian away. There's also been "Hello! You from America? Welcome to Alaska!" I've heard it several times, and there must be some kind of inside joke that I'm not getting.

But my all time favorite street conversation came the first week that I was here. As I was walking past an Ahwa (coffee shop) I heard "Hello, you American?" I half smile, because I pretty much had "Rich & Stupid American" tattooed to my forehead as far as the locals were concerned. The man continued, "Do you need a husband? I can be a good husband!" I'm sure that his idea and my idea of what construes a good husband was vastly different. The man was in his late sixties and had less teeth then my eighteen-year old sheltie did, but he seemed to be teasing me so I smiled at him and said, "Does that mean that you'll wear the skirt?" This made him laugh pretty hard, and he convinced me to sit and have coffee with him and his cronies. They taught a little backgammon and we had a lovely chat. When I left, he gave me his son's cell number so that I could call him and get a good Egyptian husband. No word about the skirt however.

So go for walk. Leave the cell phone and ipod at home, and become a tourist in your own town. You may be surprised at what you find out, or perhaps you'll want to move. Worse comes to worse, you can always move here!